After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
