Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You made out with two different species that night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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