i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
