Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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