One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
