they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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