My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Couch. On fire.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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