Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
