haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
