Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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