I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
