This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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