3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
