Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you never un-have a 4some
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
