just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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