My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
