Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
