Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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