what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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