I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
