apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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