Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dignity is for republicans.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
