I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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