I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
