All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Everything about him screamed your future.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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