her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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