is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
