dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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