Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize