I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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