dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize