your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
