Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
