I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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