If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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