she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
