Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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