A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
