Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.

Fav 2 849 2016
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(205): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.

Fav 4 894 3024
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(763): View more from Minnesota

I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me

Fav 28 1217 4656
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(+61): View more from Australia

I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

Fav 10 6027 1147
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(803): View more from South Carolina

i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.

Fav 10 1082 4325
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

Fav 50 8357 1263
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(740): View more from Ohio

Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

Fav 24 1526 3741
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(803): View more from South Carolina

He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together

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