Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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