i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
