he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
