This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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