Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
