Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
