If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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