I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
