the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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