i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
