Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
