If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
