I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize