I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
