His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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