I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
