I seem to have left my pride at pride
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
