I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize