he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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