I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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