Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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