Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize