I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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